"THE ONE" PART 2

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Tamara reluctantly looked over her shoulders to the phone on her bed. She knew that both of them might have called or left messages. It is a good thing none of them knew where she lived. This time around she took an off app cab outside the club so there was no way Hans would trace her and neither would Zack. She looked back blankly out of the misty window. She was hesitant about picking the phone let alone turning it on. She wasn’t sure what she would find. Both men had a right to be mad, they probably had talked when she left them and discovered she was seeing them both at the same time.  The ding-dong from the door-bell startled her. She tightened her bathrobes straps.  Zack paced up and down the living room. He almost felt every fiber of the bohemian rug beneath his bare feet. He subconsciously tapped the rim of his whiskey half-glass. She still hadn’t switched her phone on. He has no way finding her if not through the phone. He paced over to the decanter and refilled the glass he h
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DEAR NEWLY WEDDED WIFE....

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At the age of 24yrs, I said yes to the love of my life. Our wedding happened not long after I said yes. The wedding was a testimony and God was very involved in it. We both had just completed our theological studies and we didn't quite have a stable income. I have heard lots of advice that say "first get a job then get married" or "Don't get married to a man without a job". First and foremost a job isn't the most important factor before marriage. Purpose is. It is also very important what God is saying to you as a couple in that instance. My husband and I had heard God clearly and we knew that it was the very right time for our marriage. How would we manage? I know that's a huge question in your mind right now, it was a huge one for us also at that time. We however were choosing obedience. You see obedience to a God instruction leads to supernatural provision. Obedience attracts the supernatural. The thing is, securing a job doesn’t guarantee provision. Get me right, God uses jobs to do many things and one of them is as portals of provision but you know you may lose a job several months down the line after your vows. You can imagine how hard it can be for you if your trust was on a job.

 

Let me retrace my steps back a little bit. I was brought up by a single mum and therefore I hadn't seen the right model of marriage. I grew up with the mentality of being independent, taking charge of everything around me just as I saw my mum do. I didn’t know the mind shift that being married would bring to me in that regard.

Marriage is 150% team work. It calls for dedication from both individuals to make it a success. There has to be partnership. How did I learn this? Through first unlearning and accepting that I didn't know how to go about it then intentionally educating myself with the help of the Holy Spirit and wise counsel on how to go about everything. It is a journey I am still undertaking patiently.

#One important thing for those getting ready or looking forward to tie the knot someday; don't get into marriage with a know it all attitude. Marriage is all about learning an unlearning. It is a new chapter in your life. It will require unlearning of past behavior that do not please your partner and God and learning to be selfless,  to fully rely on the voice of the Spirit of God.

 #As a woman, it is important to love knowledge and seek wisdom. The more you learn the more confident you will be and the happier your marriage will be. It is okay to make mistakes but it's not okay to stay at the same place and repeat the same mistakes over and over. Mistakes can be an opportunity for learning yet growing in knowledge can help you minimize mistakes.  Ask your mentors (you should be having several by now) questions on what you don't understand and above all engage the Spirit of God and the scriptures; she is a teacher and a helper to guide you into all things.

#Pursue friendship with your husband.  Above all guard this space, this opportunity to be friends with your spouse. Friendship creates a conducive environment for communication and communication is key in marriage. Friendship gives you freedom to be yourself and to be real with your mate, it frees you from fear and a fearless wife is a stable and happy wife.

#Guard your space physically and spiritually. As a wife it's your duty (as much as it is your husband’s) also to ensure there is peace, love, joy and happiness around the atmosphere of your home. Don’t feel guilty shutting some people out of your lives and house. It is totally okay. If you don't feel it's time to invite people into your space, it is okay, don't push yourself or let people push you around. The more peaceful your home is, the merrier and productive you will be as a couple. So by all means guard that space.

 #Guard your heart, darling guard it against offence because from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. If you allow offence you will end up with a loose tongue. You will find small issues working you up. You will find yourself shouting or using vulgar language around your home. You don't have to shout to be heard; in fact proper communication brings out best results. Even in conflict, always and first remember that you are on the same team. You are not enemies fighting.

#Do not forget yourself. For you to give, you have to have. You give from an overflow of what you possess so the more you love you, the more you are able to extend the love to your husband and children. It is okay to have your personal time as long as you communicate to your spouse. If going on a manicure, pedicure or massage will make you happy and give you some time for yourself, go for it, if taking yourself on a date will help, by all means do so. Go visit the gyna, work out, take time and sleep, laugh more, and eat healthy. Pamper yourself; make yourself a gift to your man.

 #One very important thing is to pray fervently and always. Pray even concerning that which seems minor. Marriage is a gift from God only God can give you direction on what He intended it to be. Pray for ideas to make your husband happy, pray for wisdom, pray for strength to accomplish your wifely duties, ask the Holy Spirit for that recipe, pray concerning that habit you don't like in your husband, pray for his friends, your children, his wisdom and his general well-being. Let your house stand in prayer and watch the Lord honor you.

 

Finally understand that anything that is ordained by God is meant to be a success. God avails the grace and wisdom to carry out all responsibilities given to you. So be hopeful and always think and speak what you desire to see in your marriage.


#Youareloved.


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